


Scrap Parts

by SweetAsCyanide



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: AU, Gen, It's kind of like Hamlet in the fact that almost everyone dies, Kenzi POV, Kenzi centric, Like super AU, Really depressing, Takes place in outer space, does it count as character death if all the characters in the story are dead before it even starts?, or is already dead really, seriously if you want fluff look elsewhere, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 15:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetAsCyanide/pseuds/SweetAsCyanide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am alone. Always so damn alone. Drifting through space and time, I have met those that most would never even have the faintest dreams of meeting and seen things that most would fathom impossible. But none of that matters, not anymore. Because I am dripping icy tendrils of cold and aching from the lack of companionship. It hadn't always been like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scrap Parts

**Author's Note:**

> So this was written for a contest on Tumblr with the prompt being absurdly AU (for the record I am cyanidemuse on tumblr). This fic is really rather dark, crazy AU, and written from Kenzi's perspective because she is totally my favorite.

I am alone. Always so damn alone. Drifting through space and time, I have met those that most would never even have the faintest dreams of meeting and seen things that most would fathom impossible. But none of that matters, not anymore. Because I am dripping icy tendrils of cold and aching from the lack of companionship. It hadn't always been like this. 

Once a long, long time ago in a past unreachably distant I had been surrounded by others. Countless others, and oh the adventures they had, the things they accomplished, the lives they saved. Now they were little more than phantom memories that plagued my thoughts. But they were so much more than that. Those memories I had stored away in the dark depths, they were what I had to live on to preserve, they were the ghosts of electric volts that ran through my circuitry and made her continue to live. At least I hadn't lost them all in one fell swoop, though seeing them rust away and diminish one at a time was arguably worse. 

The first to perish had been Trick. He had always been a funny one. The oldest of us by far. He held so much power in such a little vessel, power that he was always reluctant to use. When I first met him, well at first I didn’t believe that he could really be all that powerful. Later on I couldn’t understand why he didn’t use his power, he had the ability to change things, to write whole new futures in the stars, but he rarely did so. But as with anything, such a power was fated for a tragic end. Maybe that’s why he was always so reluctant, and always so damn self sacrificing. The things he knew, the things he had gone through before any of the rest of us were created, well, I understand him so much better now. It’s rather ironic, but out of all of us, I’m probably the one who can most relate to him but only now that all the others are gone. I now know what sacrifice really means. I know what it means to live for others besides yourself. I finally get that living is so much more than just basic survival, and that’s largely thanks to him. 

Tamsin was the next to go. She was a fighter to the core, but her life energy had been dwindling even before she joined our rag-tag band. When she first joined it was as a spy, she had never intended to get so involved, but much like me she just couldn't help herself. It’s a bit odd but really out of everyone I think I had the most in common with Tam. We both kept such strong cages around ourselves. We both were so self-serving, we couldn't see the point in attachment, and others would just fuck you over, use you, or get you killed. Sure there were some people before meeting the others that I liked but none that I trusted on the same level. Back to my darling bad guy turned good. Tamsin, she was always so strong. So vibrant. So damn alive. I’ll admit I didn't like her at first, but then she was the one who helped Bo save me. She knew me even when no one else did. While the loss of Trick was the death of a mentor and elder, the whirlwind passing of Tamsin was like losing my most reluctant evil twin. We were practically inverted images of each other. However distasteful I found her when we first met, losing her, seeing her spiral out of control to her own vehement explosion of a death, was like seeing my own demise.

The next to go was Dyson. I don’t even know where to start on him. If Tamsin was my twin, then he was my much beloved older brother and protector. His capacity to genuinely care about others was astounding. Even after all the loss he had seen in his life, he didn't close himself off like Tamsin and I. No, he purely cared. Of all of us, I think he held the greatest capacity to feel. He felt so damn much that he made me feel for others by proxy. Everything, he did was always to protect us, to keep us all safe from harm. Sometimes I hated him for that. I hated his blind faith in the rest of us. I hated that he reverted to being over-protective of me, just because I wasn’t as obviously strong as the others. But at the same time I got it. He didn't want harm to come to us. He didn't want me to die. His own death wasn't as flashy as Tamsin’s or as dwindling as Trick’s but it was certainly an admiral way to go. Like everything else he did he died protecting the rest of us that remained. I still blame myself for his death. I can’t help but think it was my own fault for asking him to come and help Bo and I that lead to his perishing. Bo and I had been out scouting a distant planetary system when some raiders attacked. The two of us just weren't enough to face off against an entire fleet, so I called for help and Dyson came a running. He saved us, but in true kamikaze style got himself killed in the process. 

Hale. Oh, Hale. He was so sweet. Both of us played the role of sidekick to perfection. He made the best jokes, he always knew how to liven up the rest of us when we all got trapped in the dreary dregs of nostalgia. He knew how to make us laugh through our tears while we grieved each loss. The death of Dyson hit him like a physical blow. He had known Dyson so much longer than any of us, the two of them had fought off whatever had come their way for years before we all joined up. Even so, he played the role of the strong one, the one you could come crying to. I think he drew his own source of comfort through comforting the rest of us, even if he was reluctant to let it show. A smile and a laugh can only hold back the reservoir for so long before it cracks. Every time we lost someone the light would shine a little less in him, the jokes would be a little bit more tinged with bitterness, and the smiles would be a little bit more false. I hated seeing that. I hated that he felt so ingrained into this role of being the joker of the party that he trapped himself in it. I hated that he caged away his own heart after I had opened mine to him. I hated that he died. I hated that he left me. Next to Bo, Hale is probably the one I most miss. When everything was all so fucked up and wrong he could always make it all right. He could always make me see the light at the end of the tunnel. While I may blame myself for Dyson’s death, I hate myself for being the cause of Hale’s. He died for me. Not for any of the rest of us, just for me. I wasn't stupid or blind, but perhaps I was the smallest bit naive. I knew that Hale would happily give up his life to save my own. I knew that he cared for me in a way I had only ever seen other care about Bo. But somehow I still never let myself think it would really happen. I never let myself admit that he would end up dead someday. But he did, and that was like a physical blow to me. The shot that killed him? It had been meant for none other than yours truly, but the stupid bastard jumped in front of me, he took a laser right to the helm. Of all the ways to go his was probably the most cliché. Seeing him die almost killed me. Bo and Lauren managed to take out the attacker while I was having a breakdown. It’s one of the moments that I try not to remember the most. It’s one of those fucking moments that is always playing on repeat somewhere in my damn hard-drive.

It took a couple of years after Hale’s death for the next of our party to go. I hated Lauren when I first met her. I thought she was undeserving of Bo’s attention. I thought she was weak. I thought wrong. Even if Lauren never became my favorite, I grew to like and respect her. She was truly brilliant, quirky as all hell though. Her mind was light-years ahead of any one I had ever met before; she was definitely the academic brains behind the operation. Though I could never really comprehend the way her mind worked, I still appreciated all the times that she managed to use those book smarts to save our asses. Once we were just the three remaining amigo’s that happened a lot, probably more than I’d care o admit. Even if it took us years for Lauren to die, she was in the process of dying the whole time. However, she and Bo had managed to avenge Hale’s death and take out that attacker had left Lauren damaged beyond repair. It was a slow death, I’m not sure if that was a blessing or a curse for any of us. We got to spend more time together, but with every passing day she would remember less and less. By the end she could barely remember who Bo was let alone me. It was hard, seeing her lose all that knowledge, all those memories, and knowing we couldn't do anything about it. Eventually she just drifted off into death, leaving only Bo and myself behind.

It all started with Bo so it’s only fair that it ended with her as well. She was the best friend I ever had. She was the closest thing to family for so much of my life. When I had no one else I always knew she would have my back. From the first time we met, she brought adventure and intrigue into my life. My Bo Bo was the one who made my life worth living. Trick may have taught me that life was about more than survival but she has the one that made that all really real. She was the one that ended up bringing the rest of us together. She was the bolt that held us all firmly in place. She made us feel like we could accomplish anything, there just was no such thing as impossible. She was a wildcard that refused to pledge herself to any side besides our own, her allegiance had to be earned. I never understood how she could be so damn sweet and pure could also be so tough and manipulative. Within a few seconds of meeting her she would either have you swearing yourself in a solemn oath or having your ass taken to the trash. That’s just how she was. I never needed to be anything besides me when I was with her, hell knowing her made me more me by default. After losing everyone else, we could barely hold each other together. Losing Lauren, even as gradual as it had been, had taken a serious toll on Bo. To be honest, I wasn’t surprised by Bo’s actions, much as I may hate them. It was like the floodgates had been released and she went on a rampage, I just continued to tag along at her side until she self-destructed. Her death was beautiful; a vibrant explosion of violent colors that danced across the sky, sending shards of her in every direction. I hated that she drove herself to her own breaking point, but I knew why. She just couldn't handle it anymore. I’m not saying she took the coward’s way out or anything, yes she drove herself to her own death through somewhat self-destructive behavior but she saved countless lives while doing it. We took out fleets of raiders by the hundreds. We insured the lives of entire species. Even in death my Bo Bo accomplished the impossible and took out the raider’s base, ensuring that they couldn’t terrorize the galaxy like they had been doing for so many years already. As much as I've hated losing everyone like this, I’d never change any of it for the world because Bo and the rest of them made me what I am. 

Now there is just me, one little Kenzi, adrift in space all on my lonesome. But I drift on all the same. I preserve the memories of my fallen comrades. I make sure they never fade away. Tick’s unerring wisdom and the consequences of having such brutal power be such an integral part of you. Tamsin’s take no prisoners attitude and vibrant, explosive life. Dyson’s ability to feel, care , and protect no matter what that might mean for himself. Hale’s ringing laughter, charm, and the ultimate sacrifice that he made for no one but me. Lauren’s beautiful mind and uncanny ability to logic her way out of a tough situation. Bo’s everything, her way of making others fall in love with her and the way she would fight for what she believed in no matter whose side that put her on. It’s for them that I continue on, even if I’m little more than a single spaceship of scrap parts who no longer has a fleet to back her up.


End file.
